Ill take a cup of both please.
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| Product shot for one of our daily rushes |
Today I was annoyed.
At everything everyone said,
Everything everyone did
everything I said and did…
pretty much everything.
Something is up.
Annoyed at myself:
A problem of self realization
Before I came here my friend Amanda and I were talking a lot about “Self-Realization”, about finding out who you are. She was saying how self realization is actually completely against everything God wants for us, because the more we try to find OURSELVES the more we loose Him.
You get a choice.
Go down the dark dreary road to who you are.
Or loose who you are completely and become like Him who is perfect.
I think I’ve been self-realizing. I keep looking in through the murky window of my soul and seeing all this stuff floating around like a public swimming pool that has been left to fend for itself for several months.
The moment we turn our eyes inside ourselves we start down that dark road.
While looking in at our faults and even our good points we completely loose site of the goal.
Here’s where we start veering, with eyes looking at ourselves we just end up wherever.
Its like someone trying to make a sketch copy of a beautiful piece of work, the moment they start looking at what they are doing and not at the model, they could come up with anything. Concentrating on the lines they have drawn and going off from those… no telling what picture they will end up with.
Me, I’ve never been good at art, and thanks to my walk down self realization lane my sketch is totally off.
You can’t fix the problem when you just keep thinking about the problem.
Loose your view of yourself. Start looking at the one who is perfect.
Annoyed at everyone-
An indulgence of attitudes
I don’t know if I can do justice to what I want to explain, so I’m going to steal words from someone much wiser than I, Oswald Chambers. This was conveniently my devotion for today, I hope it makes sense in context of my issues of heart and state of mind.
Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us! For we are exceedingly filled with contempt —Psalm 123:3
What we must beware of is not damage to our belief in God but damage to our Christian disposition or state of mind.
“Take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously” (Malachi 2:16).
Our state of mind is powerful in its effects. It can be the enemy that penetrates right into our soul and distracts our mind from God. There are certain attitudes we should never dare to indulge. If we do, we will find they have distracted us from faith in God. Until we get back into a quiet mood before Him, our faith is of no value, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is what rules our lives.
Beware of “the cares of this world . . .” (Mark 4:19). They are the very things that produce the wrong attitudes in our soul. It is incredible what enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention away from God. Refuse to be swamped by “the cares of this world.”
Another thing that distracts us is our passion for vindication. St. Augustine prayed,
“O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.”
Such a need for constant vindication destroys our soul’s faith in God. Don’t say, “I must explain myself,” or, “I must get people to understand.” Our Lord never explained anything— He left the misunderstandings or misconceptions of others to correct themselves.
When we discern that other people are not growing spiritually and allow that discernment to turn to criticism, we block our fellowship with God. God never gives us discernment so that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.
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